


We've Got One Thing in Common, It's This Suffocating Grief

by Tye



Category: Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: (but no actual sexual content bc I cannot write smut), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fix-It, Friends to Lovers, Grief/Mourning, Implied Sexual Content, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-07
Updated: 2020-04-07
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:33:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23518495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tye/pseuds/Tye
Summary: There's a line they haven't crossed yet. They've been toying at it, testing and teasing how close they can get, but always retreating to safety when they venture too close.This is a bad idea.Or: a season 3 rewrite where Artemis and Dick have a thing going on.
Relationships: Artemis Crock & Dick Grayson, Artemis Crock/Dick Grayson, past Artemis Crock/Wally West - Relationship
Comments: 28
Kudos: 117





	We've Got One Thing in Common, It's This Suffocating Grief

**Author's Note:**

> So while I mostly enjoyed S3… Artemis/Will was bad. Terrible, awful, nothing redeeming about it, 0/10 stars would not recommend. I'm glad it didn't happen, but I should not have spent 24 episodes worrying "Oh God is Artemis going to hook up with her brother-in-law?". And I don't dislike DickBabs, but the two of them being an iconic DC couple is not the same thing as relationship development. It's bad writing to shove what's (arguably) the main character of the whole show into a relationship with basically no build up outside of the side-comics.
> 
> I still don't think Artemis (or Dick) really needed a love interest this season, but like... if they had to have one... come on now. These two just ooze chemistry, and there's so much potential with them to play around with.
> 
> tl;dr: Traught should have happened and here's my 11,000 word essay why.
> 
> (Also the title comes from the song Sex by The 1975.)

They make up their aliases on the way to Gotham International Airport. Diana Nguyen and Grayson Richards, two Ivy Town University undergrads traveling to Markovia for a summer research assignment. It's simple, and given their age and appearance, easily believable. On the off chance they get questioned by Markovian customs, they can babble in unintelligible science jargon and refer them to Dr. Palmer and his research assistant Karen Beecher-Duncan.

The thing with plans is: even the best-crafted ones don't go off without a hitch. There's always some enemy looming, waiting with an annoying little smirk to drop the ball on them. So Artemis isn't too phased when she's questioning whether to abort plan and improvise. She is not, however, expecting the reason to be the little girl with a Disney Princess coloring book and Wonder Woman plushie sitting next to her on the plane. 

"Is he your boyfriend?"

She's so tiny and adorable. She reminds Artemis of Lian with those huge brown eyes. She wants to scoop her up and swaddle her in her arms. But her question, blunt but genial in the way only a toddler can be, puts her on edge.

She and Dick have a way about them. That's what Wally used to say. He would joke how he'd have to keep an eye on them because:  _ "You two are quite close, and he is very handsome.". _ To which she would respond:  _ "Maybe I ought to keep a closer eye on you guys then. After all, you two are quite close, and he is very handsome." _ Then she'd squish his cheeks and attack his face with kisses until their stomachs ached from laughter.

If she takes a step away from herself, she can see it too, why someone might think they're a couple. They're sharing an armrest and a pair of headphones. She's been taking sips of his boba tea and stealing food off his tray table. His head is resting on her shoulder. From the way his breathing hitched when the girl asked her question, she's certain he's awake and waiting for her response. 

"Yeah, he is."

The girl's face lights up with an enormous smile. She kicks her tiny legs and squishes her plushie. "He's really cute."

"Not as cute as you are, Darling," Dick says.

"Oh Honey, you're so sweet."

"Not as sweet as you are, Sugar."

They don't have to discuss it. With a glance and a nod they agree to keep up the charade. They take on the roles of a sickeningly sappy couple, M'gann and La'gaan during their honeymoon period levels of sappy. They stare at each other like sweethearts and cuddle underneath a shared blanket. They call each other ridiculous pet names like Pookie Bear and Love Bug. She clutches his arm when they deboard the plane, and they spin a story to the customs agent about how they're on a romantic getaway to celebrate their anniversary. Dick whispers something about an engagement ring to the agent while she pretends she isn't listening. 

It's the opposite of stealth. She can practically hear Batman chiding them on how they're drawing far too much attention with this ridiculous alibi. They ought to keep their heads low and try to blend in. Instead, she gives Dick a moony-eyed look, and they walk hand-in-hand through the airport terminal.

Playing lovers with Dick is fun.

\--

"Okay Stud Muffin, how do I look?"

Dick is prepared to rattle off something hokey.  _ "Awww… you look soooo gorgeous Princess Sugar-Pie Goo-Goo Doll." _ But his mind goes hopelessly blank when Artemis steps out of the hotel bathroom.

Artemis has always been beautiful. This isn't brand new information for Dick, like a bad rom-com where the female love interest takes off her glasses, puts on a dress, and bam, suddenly she's Helen of Troy. Nothing's changed. Artemis has always had that hair, that grin, those biceps that say  _ "I could punch you in the face and you would thank me." _ . There's a difference though, in being attractive and being attracted to. Dick could think she's beautiful, but never in a way that takes his breath away and makes him weak in the knees.

But _ that dress _ . Strapless and blue, with a thigh-high slit that puts her long, toned legs on display. Something about the way it clings to her hips, her waist, her chest, makes him want to burst into flames. Jesus help him, she looks too good to be real.

_ What are you doing? You can't think about Artemis like that. She's your best friend's girlfriend.  _

_ Your best friend is dead. _

And it's like he's in one of those cartoons where an angel and devil sit on his shoulder. Except instead of one acting as his conscience and the other as temptation, one judges him and the other stabs him in the gut and twists the knife until his vision goes white. Wally West is dead. He's been dead for two years and Dick's still waiting for that day everyone said would come where it gets easier.

"Seriously though, do I look okay?" Artemis' posture slackens, and her playful expression shifts to one of concern. "I was hoping you'd know what people wear to these rich people shindigs."

Dick flinches. He's been quiet too long, gotten too lost in his own head. "Yeah, you look great-- I mean, you'll blend in perfectly."

"Thanks. You clean up nice too, by the way," she smiles and takes his arm. "Ready to do this thing, Sweet Cheeks?"

"As long as you are, Hot Stuff."

\--

The night before Artemis moved from Gotham to Palo Alto, her mother tearfully gifted her with a shoebox full of old photographs. She's never given it a proper look through. Her childhood didn't leave her with much to feel sentimental about. She's stuffed it into the back of one closet, then another, until she settled in her current home, where it's collected dust in her attic for the last year.

"Whatcha got there?" Dick asks as she comes down the stairs with the box under her arm. 

He's in their living room, lying on their sofa with his feet kicked over the arm rest because he's a heathen who never learned how to sit properly. He's helped himself to some oreos and a juice box (Orange Lavaburst, because he knows Flashin' Fruit Punch is Lian's favorite). 

Dick's been at their house more in the last month than the entire time she's lived here. He stopped in to help Will out at Bowhunter ( _ "I can't believe he made you wear the whole uniform," she said. "Last time I helped him, I only had to wear the hat." _ ). Then he's dropped in a few times to talk optics or check on Halo. Tonight he was "in the neighborhood" because Bruce wanted him to talk to Ollie about something, the details of which he left vague. She ought to remind him it's okay to just stop by to say hello.

"Nothing exciting. Just some old pictures," she shrugs. "I saw M'gann scrapbooking the other day and it got me in a nostalgic mood, I guess."

"Well, let's see." 

She dumps the contents onto the coffee table. Dick straightens himself out, sets down his juice box, and picks up a photo at random. He purses his lips and gives it a curious glance. It's from Halloween when she was three or four. She smiles in a silvery, medieval knight costume with a pair of fluffy angel wings strapped to her back. In one hand she holds a pillowcase full of candy, in the other a toy mace. 

"Uh… what exactly are you supposed to be?"

"I wanted to be Hawkwoman, but the parents wouldn't allow it. This was our idea of a compromise," she laughs. She was too young then to know about their criminal double lives. She thought they were being mean and threw the temper-tantrum to end all temper-tantrums in the costume aisle at Wal-Mart.

"I always thought trick-or-treating looked like fun," Dick says. "I never actually got to go. There was always something going on at the circus that day. We were travelling or there was a show."

"What about after Bruce took you in?"

He shakes his head, "I dunno, I guess I thought I was too old by then?"

"Too old? Geez, I trick-or-treated until I was in high school," she grins and rolls her eyes teasingly at him. "Hey, here's one with you in it." 

It's from the Gotham Academy Winter Formal, her junior, his sophomore year. Though with the palm trees, soft sand, and Florida sun setting behind them, it looks more like a beach party. Wally's in the center, face flushed and hair matted with sweat. He just ran a thousand miles from Gotham to Clearwater Beach with her in his arms and Dick on his back. He has his arms slung over both their shoulders. Her pale blue dress purposefully matches Wally's tie and accidentally matches Dick's shirt (and now that she's looking at it closer, it matches his eyes too). 

Dick rolls his eyes. "Oh yeah, I remember that.  _ 'It's no big deal,' _ he said.  _ 'I can get us there and back in 10 minutes,' _ he said."

"And then we showed up an hour late," she says. "Why did you have to go and encourage him?" 

He shoots her an incredulous look. "Excuse me,  _ I _ was the one who encouraged him?  _ You _ told him it would be fun to get pictures on the beach."

"Yeah, but I wasn't being serious. You were the one who egged him on by betting him he couldn't do it." 

Dick laughs, and leans back on the sofa. "It was kind of worth it though." 

"Yeah, it was."

Artemis can't remember what music they played at the dance, or the decorations or the food. But she remembers the waves lapping at her feet as she walked along the shore. The two of them running in circles, flapping their arms, pretending to be seagulls. Wally taking her by the hand, and telling her they should go to college in Florida so it can be like this every day.

"What did you end up telling your date when you showed up an hour late?" She asks. 

"I didn't have a date, remember?"

She furrows her brows, "Really? I could've sworn you went with someone."

"No, that was right after Raquel broke up with me."

"Wait-- I thought you broke up with her."

He shakes his head, "Man, your memory is off tonight, but maybe you remember this." 

Dick takes out his phone and pulls up a picture. She leans in closer, pressing their shoulders together to get a better look.

She laughs, "Oh my God, I can't believe you still have this."

It's that picture, the one from her first day at G.A., and he ran up to her from out of nowhere and without introduction, snapped a selfie of the two of them. It's reflected in their faces. He's grinning toothily at the camera, while she stares dazed and mouth agape, looking like-- well-- a person who wasn't expecting to have their picture taken. 

She's never told Dick this (and likely never will), but when she first met his civilian persona, she interpreted his interest in her as romantic. Being proven wrong was something of a relief. He was this weird, overly friendly, overly enthusiastic freshman, and she had a burgeoning crush on someone else. She was 15. He was 13. The 19 months separating them made a difference then. 

It doesn't hold quite the same weight now that they're 23 and 21. 

"Do you remember what I said when I took the picture?" He asks, gazing at her with a smile nothing short of adoring.

"No, what?"

"We'll laugh about this someday."

For one quiet moment neither of them say anything, then, in perfect sync, they burst into laughter.

\--

"So… how's Jade?"

Artemis rolls her eyes and sighs. Dick figured as much. His question was one of politeness rather than curiosity. It's the reason he took her out to dinner at what she dubbed "the best pizza place in Star City" ( _ "It's even better than Nicolosi's in Gotham," she said. "Absolutely not," he said. "No fucking way is some west coast pizza joint better than Nicolosi's." One bite into his triple cheese pizza, and he has to begrudgingly admit it's better than Nicolosi's. _ ).

"She needs therapy."

"Don't we all?"

"I'm serious. She needs to talk to someone. I mean, I get why she doesn't want to expose Lian to all that. We had criminals for parents and it seriously messed us up. But… ugh..." she sighs, "being an absentee parent isn't  _ better. _ Lian needs her mother, and it's not fair to Will to make him raise their daughter alone."

"It's not fair to you either," he says. "I know you love Lian, but you're not her mother, and you shouldn't have to be."

"People are starting to think I am. All the neighbors have made that mistake at least once. And yesterday there was this new aide at Lian's daycare who complimented me on what a nice husband I have. It was embarrassing to have to correct her."

"So you and Will aren't... y'know?" he asks. He takes a bite of pizza, hoping this makes the question look casual. He's spent probably too much time wondering about her and Will's relationship. The kind of wondering where he lies awake in bed thinking about her as he tries to fall asleep. And Artemis absolutely does not need to know about any of that.

Artemis grimaces. "Eugh… no. He's married. To my  _ sister _ ."

"I know, but like you said, they're kind of estranged. And you and Will live together."

She huffs and glares at him impatiently, "We live together because it's convenient. It's five minutes away from Bowhunter and the University, and we can split all the chores and expenses. Star City is expensive, y'know. Not all of us can dip into Bruce Wayne's bank account whenever we're short on rent."

"Okay for the record, I have never done that," he says, "but I guess that makes sense, why you'd want a roommate and all. Didn't you used to have your own place though?"

"Yeah, it was after Wally…" there's a pause. "Living alone didn't work for me."

"Oh."

Artemis reaches for another slice of pizza, and he takes a sip of his Sprite. A couple passes by their table, holding hands as they head towards the front entrance. A slow, jazzy song plays over the speakers. Something about a sailor and a girl who are in love but can't be together? His Italian is rusty, and it's hard to hear over the din.

"So… how's Babs?" Artemis asks. It's not the question he was expecting, but he'll latch onto anything to fill the gap in conversation he created.

"She's fine. I was at her place a few days ago. She just got a pair of those Goode Goggles everyone's raving about."

"That's cool. Are you guys still seeing each other?"

Babs is, and always will be, one of his closest friends, but her hot and cold act drove him nuts. One day she was into him, the next she would tell him he's quote: "too immature to handle her". He was her forever back-up plan, a bottle of wine she could wait to age but still dip into whenever she was bored or lonely or the mood struck her. At the start of summer he gave her an ultimatum: we're either dating or we're not. He doesn't want to be anyone's friend with benefits. 

"No, she's got a boyfriend. You remember Jason Bard from G.A.? They've been dating since July. As far as I can tell they're happy together."

"So there's no hard feelings between you two?"

He laughs, "Nah, we're good. You know me, I've mastered the art of staying friends with my exes."

"And what about you? Anyone I ought to know about?"

"Why the sudden curiosity in my love life?"

"I could ask you the same question about mine." 

Artemis rests her elbows on the table and casts him a coy smile. He leans forward and smirks back, weighing a witty response to quip back at her. She taps his foot gently under the table. He returns it in kind.

"So are we thinking about dessert?" Their waitress appears out of nowhere, hovering over them with a cheery smile and a menu. They break eye contact and lean back in their chairs, as if they've been caught doing something they shouldn't. 

"Uh... no thank you," he says. The waitress nods, clears away their plates, and leaves them with the bill.

"If you're still hungry you could swing by my place," Artemis says. "We have plenty of ice cream."

It's an innocent offer. Ice cream at the Crock/Harper household would be a noisy, family affair. Will making funny faces at an overly-excited Lian, Violet grinning to herself while she texts Brion under the table, and Brucely sniffing around begging for scraps. But the lilt in her voice, and her cute, little half smile. There's something almost seductive about it. Cue in his mind a scene where it's just the two of them, and instead of ice cream she takes him by the hand and leads him up the stairs to her bedroom. 

_ Snap out of it, Grayson. She's your best friend's girlfriend. _

_ Your best friend is dead. _

"Thanks, but I ought to head home. It's getting kind of late."

Artemis raises an eyebrow. "Dick, it's 9 PM."

"It's midnight on the east coast," he says, as if he's asleep at this hour like a normal, functioning human being instead of his insomniatic self.

"Fair point, but my door's always open for you. Feel free to swing by whenever."

"I'll keep that in mind," he says, then snaps up the bill before she can argue. "Oh, and by the way: I'm not seeing anyone right now. It's been a while since my last date."

Maybe it's seeing what he wants to see, but her lips curl upwards into a tiny smile.

"Good to know."

\--

The Watchtower hovers somewhere over the Pacific Ocean. The cathedral-like windows in the training room look down on swirling clouds and a massive expanse of blue. She and Dick stretch out on one of the sparring mats, their legs splayed and the soles of their feet pressed together. He takes her hands, their fingers interlacing, and he pulls her forward until her hamstrings burn and her spine is near parallel with the floor.

"Thanks again for doing this," she says.

"Of course. How'd it go today? Do you want to talk about it or..?"

Today. November 11. He would have been 24. 

She has a routine for his birthdays. Wake up early, have breakfast at his old house, visit his (empty) grave in the Keystone City Cemetery, politely decline when his parents ask if she wants to go to church with them, go home, convince herself she's going to be productive, open her laptop, spend the rest of the day staring at her screensaver. 

The morning passed in a blur of hugs and soft-spoken words, but the afternoon, the sitting at her desk and reading the same line of text over again until the words turned to mush, something in her snapped. She didn't want to spend the whole day fighting off bouts of nausea and tears and thoughts of how life isn't fucking fair. She needed to move, to get out of her tiny bedroom where the smiling picture of him sits on her nightstand. So she called Dick and asked him to meet her here for sparring practice.

"It was good, I guess," They swap places, she leans back and pulls him toward the floor. "Mr. and Mrs. West say hello, by the way."

"Oh…" he says, and it's hard to gauge his reaction. Dick also got an invitation to the world's saddest party, but he didn't come. Same as last year and the year before. As far as she knows, he's never visited his (empty) civilian grave. He avoids his memorial in the Watchtower. Personally, she doesn't get it, but everyone copes differently.

"I told them you're doing well."

"Thanks. I hope they're doing alright too… or as good as they can be under the circumstances," They finish their stretch. Dick stands and offers her a hand. "You ready?"

"Yeah." 

They stare at each other from opposite ends of the mat. Dick holds up his fists and gives her a nod. She runs at him, feinting left, then aiming a kick at his ankles to knock him off balance. He dodges, and jabs at her stomach. Sensing his movements, she grabs his wrist and twists, pinning him against her.

"That's the best you got?" She teases.

"Please, I'm just warming up."

He shifts his weight and knocks her back, escaping her hold. He backflips away in a flair that's totally unnecessary, but totally him. And it keeps going from there. Kicking and jabbing, ducking and dodging. Every time one of them gets hold of the other they slip out of it. Her heart is pounding and they're both dewy with sweat. It's exhilarating.

There's a reason Dick's her first choice for a sparring partner. It's not just because he's non-meta (no meta can fight the way a non-meta can. Dinah and Diana are the  _ only _ exceptions). She's sparred with all the other non-metas, and the energy is different. She doesn't get the same high. She and Dick have a connection, one that started for both of them when they were nine years old. Him under the tutelage of Batman, she with her father. Her Dad was tactical, teaching her to use power and rage to take down her opponents. Dick was one of the first people she met who made an art out of fighting. He's a performer, an acrobat, and it bleeds through in the way he fights. 

In a moment of vulnerability, Dick knocks her to the ground and straddles her hips. It's hardly an effective hold. She could slither out of it and pin him down easy, if she wanted to. And she should want to. Instead she slides her hands up to her shoulders and lets him pin her wrists. They lock eyes and she takes him in, staring at his bare chest, his mussed up hair, his blue eyes, his lips.

Dick's kissed her before, sort of. It was CPR, and she was drugged out on Juliet pills to slow her heartbeat so she barely remembers any of it. In their practice runs they pretended to lock lips, thinking it would be too awkward to actually do it. Except once, when they were showing Wally a run-through. Kaldur pretended to stab her, she pretended she was dying, and Dick pretended to do CPR. 

"And um… this is the part where I'd blow air into her mouth," he says. Her eyes were shut, but she had the distinct feeling he was staring at Wally.

Wally laughs, "Then do it. You don't have to hesitate on my behalf."

So he does, and it's the absolute worst kiss of her life. Not for any lack of skill on his part, but because she was lying on a cold concrete floor while he pinched her nose and blew warm air into her mouth. 

And she's not sure why this memory decided to pop into her head right now. 

Dick's eyes go wide. His teasing smile falls flat off his face. He snatches his hands away as if her skin burns, and stands super-humanly fast. His face is flushed red from exertion.... or is it embarrassment? 

"I think that was enough of that," he says. "You wanna work on weights or..?"

"Yeah, sounds good."

\--

The firescape leading up to his apartment is tucked away in a back alley. Dick's pretty sure he's the only one in his building who uses it. He's never actually asked his neighbors, but they've complained enough about the poor lighting and the vaguely onion-like smell from the dumpster. So he's relatively confident they've never noticed him dashing in and out in his Nightwing outfit. He and Artemis can talk out here without fear of being overheard.

"How'd it go in Russia?" He asks. "Do you want to debrief?"

Artemis groans, "Ugh… no. I've thoroughly debriefed with Kaldur and M'gann. I am so tired of talking about the Team and the mission. I can't remember the last time I hung out with someone just for the sake of hanging out."

He laughs, "I know what you mean. I miss the days when the Team was as much a hero gig as it was a social club. I'm glad the new kids are--"

"Hey! No more Team talk. Here on out it's you, me, and the three seasons of  _ Celebrity Hockey  _ we need to catch up on."

When they reach the top of the steps, he reaches for his keys and gives Artemis an apologetic look. "So uh… fair warning, my place is kind of a mess right now. I've been meaning to clean it but, y'know, life."

That's a lie. His place hasn't been properly clean in years. He's aware it's a problem, but he lacks the motivation to get off his ass and fix it. Why bother? It's not like he's overrun with visitors. Bruce and Tim swing by when they're in the neighborhood. Babs used to visit more often, but his building doesn't have an elevator and she dislikes being carried up the stairs. Wally was his most frequent guest, but for obvious reasons that's not the case anymore. 

"It's fine, as long as your bathroom's clean. Mind if I use your shower?"

"Go for it. It's the first door on your left."

Artemis drops her hat and jacket on his recliner, and disappears behind the bathroom door. Cue him scrambling to get his place in order. He tosses weeks' worth of dirty laundry into his hamper and throws the takeout boxes on his kitchen table into the trash can. There's a can of febreze in one of the kitchen cabinets. He sprays it to mask the smell of socks and old pizza, then panics he used too much and now his apartment smells like tropical febreze, socks, and old pizza. Despite the snow, he opens the windows.

The shower shuts off and the bathroom door cracks open.

"Hey Dick, do you have a shirt or something I could borrow?"

Wally told him about how she wore his shirts around the house. She "borrowed" his hoodies because she liked how warm and soft they were. Her feet got cold as bricks at night but she refused to wear socks to sleep. Dick never asked him for details about their domestic life, but it came with the territory of their friendship. All of the highs, lows, and insecurities, he was Wally's shoulder to lean on. Perhaps if he ever got that invested in a relationship, he would have told Wally about his partner's little quirks too.

"Uh… yeah. Hang on a sec." 

Dick digs through what he's fairly confident is a clean clothes pile. Near the bottom he finds a shirt from a concert M'gann and Conner took him to last year. After giving it a quick smell test, he knocks on the bathroom door and sticks his hand inside without looking.

"Is this ok?" He asks.

"Yeah, thanks."

A moment later she emerges, her hair dark with water and done up in a messy topknot. His baggy black t-shirt reaches her mid-thigh. She heads over to his kitchen, and he's hit with another wave of panic. His cabinets are empty except for a box of poptarts and a few packets of ramen, and his fridge may as well be there for decorative purposes.

Artemis whistles, "Damn, you eat worse than the undergrads I TA for."

It's not that he can't cook. He used to have a fridge full of fresh produce from the Bludhaven farmer's market. He'd try a new recipe every week. Wally would always carve out time in his schedule to scarf down the leftovers. Now he rarely has the energy to do more than heat instant noodles or call Grubhub.

"I could order something?" 

"Nah, it's ok." 

The cabinet door shuts. Artemis plops down on the couch next to him, two silver poptart packets in hand. She tosses one at him and tears open the other, then grabs the fleece blanket draped over the couch and throws it over both of them. 

_ Celebrity Hockey _ is the pinnacle of reality TV garbage, and that's what makes it so fun to watch. Especially with Artemis. She gets into it, hooping and hollering at the fights, groaning when the refs make a bad call, and laughing every time this one particularly annoying contestant falls flat on his face. The first few matches fill his apartment with long forgotten noise, laughter, and witty commentary. 

Then something shifts, and an easy silence settles over them. They curl up against each other. he puts an arm around her shoulder and she rests her head on his chest, and they stay like that as one match bleeds into the next. When the season ends he thinks she's fallen asleep, but her eyes are open, reflecting the light from the TV.

"Are you still watching this?" He asks.

"Not really."

He shuts off the TV. It takes his eyes a moment to adjust to the darkness. It's quiet aside from the snowplow rolling by on the street below. Artemis throws the blanket off them and undoes her top knot. Her now dry hair falls in waves around her. He reaches out and tocks a lock behind her ear, letting his hand linger on her cheek and caressing her jaw with his thumb. 

"You're really pretty, you know." 

Artemis doesn't flinch or pull away. Neither does he. This is what the night's been leading up to, isn't it? They can deny it all they'd like, but there's been a tension growing between them for months. It's reached the point where it's unbearable. When she stepped into his apartment, there was only one way this could go. They both knew it.

Artemis moves, and she's straddling his hips. Her hands are soft on his shoulders. Her eyes lock on his, and oh God he wants to kiss her so badly. There's a line they haven't crossed yet. They've been toying at it, testing and teasing how close they can get, but always retreating to safety when they venture too close. This is the first they've acknowledged their feelings in a way that can't be taken back or explained away, but until one of them does something, they still haven't acted on them. There's still time to turn around.

_ This is a bad idea. _

He closes his eyes, tilts his chin up, and kisses her. They start shy and tentative. Her lips soft on his, his fingertips hovering near her waist instead of touching. He's giving her an out in case she changes her mind. Then she lets out this soft, little sigh, and that's the catalyst. The kiss deepens, and all at once the feelings they've stoppered and denied and shoved away come spilling out at full force. 

_ You guys need to stop. _

Their hands are everywhere. Hers roam down his back, up his arms, against his neck, her thumbs stroking his chin. He wraps one hand around her waist, and runs the other through her hair. The scent of his soap on her skin drives him absolutely wild.

_ She's your best friend's girlfriend. _

He kicks his legs up and shifts his hips so they can lay horizontal on the couch. They're both hot and breathless. A familiar pressure swells below his navel and between his thighs. She moans as he presses a hot kiss on her collarbone. She tugs at the hem of his shirt and he raises his arms so she can pull it over his head.

_ Your best friend is dead. _

_ Wally West is dead. He's dead, dead, dead, and his opinion doesn't fucking matter anymore. It's time to stop letting the ghost of your best friend haunt all your thoughts. _

"Bedroom?" He whispers.

"Yeah."

\--

"So… you and Bette Kane. Did you guys really..?"

Artemis rolls onto her side, facing him on the bed. She knows some of his history. Zee and Raquel have told her-- in more detail than she really cared for. Babs hasn't said as much in words, but Artemis doesn't need Batman's powers of deduction to guess they've gone further than their kiss at Dick's 14th birthday party. Dick Grayson's string of girlfriends were hot gossip at G.A., and she was usually able to keep up with the rumor mill. Since high school though, he's played far more coy with his relationships. Which is where Bette comes in.

"Yeah," he says. His face is illuminated bright white by the streetlamp outside his bedroom window. He bites his lip."I don't usually do things like that though."

"Things like what? Have sex with Bette Kane?"

"No, I mean things like sleeping around and one night stands. I know I have a reputation, but I don't-- I haven't been with that many people."

"How many people have you slept with then?"

There's a pause. "Eight. Seven girls, one guy. Shit, that does sound like a lot doesn't it? But that includes you, and it's divided up over seven years, so it averages out-- sort of. And I always used protection, in case that's something you're worried about."

"Hey, I'm not judging you. I'm just curious," she reaches out and strokes his cheek, coarse with stubble under her thumb. His worried hands unclench and he smiles softly at her.

"I guess I don't really need to ask about your history, huh?"

"What, you're not curious?"

"Well, I mean-- you've only dated one person so…"

And she's going to correct him, but the words get caught in her throat. She yanks her hand away as if his skin is fire. His room is claustrophobically tight. The dark bedroom walls loom over her like judgemental shadows, and the air reeks of the sex they just had. Artemis sits bolt upright, clutching the sheet to her chest. 

_ Wally  _

She'd forgotten. She'd actually  _ forgotten  _ about him. For one moment she lets her mind have a break from her constant mourning, and she goes willingly and eagerly to bed with his best friend. God, could she be any worse of a person? She just had to go and catch feelings for the one person who would hurt him the most. It's a betrayal to his memory. If he were here, he'd hate her.

"Artemis, are you okay?" Dick sits up and puts a hand on her shoulder, but she flinches and shoves him away.

"I have to go."

"Huh?" 

"I'm sorry, I just-- I can't be here right now."

Artemis scrambles out of his bed, wrapping a sheet around her to hide her nakedness. ' _ It's a little late for that though _ ', she thinks wryly. She picks her clothes up off the bathroom floor and dresses quickly. Dick stands in his bedroom doorway as she crosses his living room. He's put on a pair of flannel pajama pants, but his hair is still rumpled. He doesn't say anything, but he looks like he wants to. She wishes he would stop giving her that sad, concerned look and just let her leave in peace. 

Artemis shivers when she steps outside. The snow still hasn't let up yet, and flakes fall in her hair and eyelashes. She left her hat in Dick's apartment, but no way is she going back for it. She throws up her hood, then grabs her phone from her pocket. 

"Hey, Zee. I'm sorry, I know it's late. It's just--" she sniffles, wipes away a stray tear, and wills herself not to start sobbing, "I did something really stupid."

\--

Playboy, heartbreaker, casanova, dog. Wally had a whole slew of nicknames for him. Dick never told him when he was alive how much they bothered him. Sure, he's dated his fair share of people. Maybe more than average, definitely more than Wally. But he doesn't get his kicks out of bouncing from one partner to the next. He's still on good terms with all of his exes. The breakups were always clean, and almost always mutual. The only one who ever ended up with a broken heart was him.

That is, until Artemis.

Artemis was supposed to be the one with their shit together. It always seemed like she was coping with her grief better than him. She rejoined the team, graduated college, kept a charming little picture of the two of them on her nightstand. Then again, he should know something about keeping up appearances so no one can witness how much you're falling apart. 

What the hell were they thinking? He should have listened to that annoying little voice in his head that told him to  _ stop  _ instead of acting on his impulses _.  _ If he could, he would hack into his brain and delete feelings.exe. It can't work between him and Artemis. Their history is too intertwined, their relationship too complicated. They both loved Wally too much to be anything more than friends. 

And now he's gone and proved Wally right in the worst possible way. 

He really is a dog.

He avoids the Team and the Watchtower and all of Bruce's secret meetings. Calls and messages go unanswered. Disgrace keeps him holed up in his apartment-- except to do solo vigilante work around Bludhaven. One more thing he has in common with Artemis, he fights crime when he needs to empty his brain of intrusive thoughts. Which is why when he comes home tonight, his suit is marred with knife slashes and he's covered in bruises that will  _ definitely  _ hurt tomorrow. 

He's sinking into his recliner when his civilian phone vibrates. The caller ID reads 'Babs'. He hits ignore. Not five seconds later she calls him back, and again he hits the big red decline button. Again, ignore. Again, ignore. Again.

"What?"

"Hey  _ Dick,  _ thanks for finally picking up," she puts emphasis on his name, using it to both greet him and shame him. Hardy har har, like she's the first person to ever think of that.

"What do you need, Babs?"

"You're doing it again."

"Doing what?"

"Isolating yourself, shutting everyone out. Dick, it's been nearly two weeks since anyone's heard from you. We're worried about you."

She's right, this isn't the first time he's gone off the proverbial deepend. After Wally died he could barely get out of bed, let alone leave his apartment. He skipped the memorial services, threw away the cards. Babs and Bruce both insisted he come stay with them for a little while. He turned them down. He couldn't stand those delicate looks they gave him, like he was something small and fragile that could break at any moment. He didn't want sympathy. Sympathy reminded him there was something he needed to feel sad about. 

"I'm fine. Please, you don't have to worry about me." 

"What's going on?"

"Nothing."

"What happened with you and Artemis?" Her bluntness doesn't take him aback. Of course Babs knows. Not suspects or guesses,  _ knows _ . She can read him better than anyone. Better than Bruce even, he thinks.

"That's not really your business."

There's a sigh, then a pause, "Be careful with her, Dick."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"She had her heart broken. She's still grieving."

"And what, I'm not? I loved him too, you know. Maybe not the same way she did, but he was my best friend, and I loved him."

It's not fair-- the implication that their relationship was lesser because they were "only" friends. No, he never dreamed about marrying Wally, but he wanted to grow old with him. He loved him more than any of his exes. His death hit him harder than Tula, Jason, probably even his parents (he was so young then, he's blocked most of it out). Wally was the most important person in his life, the person he'd miss most if he lost. The person he misses most, present tense.

"You're right. You guys have both gone through a tremendous loss and you're both still grieving. Which is why you both need to be careful. Look, it's fine if you two want to try dating--" 

"But--"

"No, listen to me. It's fine. You two have a really strong friendship, and it makes sense you'd end up getting feelings for eachother. But you need to take this slow. If you don't sort through your shared emotional baggage first you're both going to end up getting hurt."

He scoffs, "It's a little too late for that."

"But it's not too late to fix it. Talk to her."

Artemis fled his apartment in the middle of the night during a snowstorm. She didn't say goodbye. In the last two weeks he's gotten texts from about everyone except her. There's not much more she can do to say  _ "I don't want to talk about it" _ , and for that matter, neither does he. If she showed up at his door right now, he's not sure what he'd say.

"You make it sound so easy."

"I promise it's not as hard as it seems. You guys can work this out. But in the meantime--stop wallowing around your apartment."

\--

Zatanna bakes her blueberry muffins and invites her to stay at her apartment as long as she needs. She doesn't judge her, even though she deserves it. She keeps repeating in a soft, soothing voice that she didn't do anything wrong, even though she did. Shame keeps Artemis from telling her the whole story. When Zatanna asks who she slept with, she couldn't bring herself to speak his name. She answers her questions with two truths and one lie: yes, it was consensual, yes, they were safe, no, it wasn't with anyone she knew. 

Artemis lets Zatanna do the whole supportive friend thing before she asks. She didn't come to her for tea and sympathy, she came for her powers. 

"I need to talk to Wally."

Zatanna refuses, saying nothing short of a Lazarus Pit can bring a soul back from the dead. Except they both know that's not true. So she begs, pleads, kicks a fuss, threatens to go to Wotan or another sorcerer if she won't help her. 

"Okay, I'll see what I can do. But  _ if  _ I can help you, this is going to be a big spell and I'll need time to prep."

Zatanna makes her wait one week, then another. She claims she needs to do more research, but Artemis suspects she's stalling in hopes she'll change her mind. Zatanna never masks her disapproval of her plan, asking her over and over in a dozen different variations if she's sure she really wants to do this. 

She never wavers. 

They agree to meet at midnight under the weeping willow tree. Artemis arrives early. Her breath freezes in front of her and she tugs her coat tight around her shoulders to stay warm. She taps her foot, then paces back and forth. Everytime she checks her watch she swears time is moving backwards. Then two minutes after midnight the willow branches part, and there's Zatanna, Raquel, and M'gann, each wearing the same worried expression. 

"Good, you're here. Let's get started," she says.

"Wait, I think we should talk about this first," Zatanna says. "Artemis, are you sure you want to do this?"

"You promised you'd do it."

"And I will, if that's what you really want."

Artemis crosses her arms. "I think I've made it clear what I want."

"I just want to make sure you've thought this through. I'm worried it won't help you the way you're hoping it will. Wally would've wanted you to--"

"Don't!" She snaps. She's so sick of people telling her  _ "He would want her to move on" _ . How would they know what he wants? They didn't know him like she did. 

"Artemis, I'm just--"

M'gann puts a hand on Zatanna's shoulder. "Zee, it's okay. Let her have this."

The two of them share a nod, then Zatanna turns to her to explain the rules. Her soul will be in limbo, she has until sunrise or else she'll be trapped there forever, the visions will be enticing and she has to be strong enough to fight it… blah blah blah. She'll do whatever, risk whatever, there's no price she isn't willing to pay.

Zatanna chants her spell, and the bright yellow light pulsing in her hands forces Artemis to shut her eyes. When she opens them again, there's nothing but clouds. It's silent, she can't even hear herself breathing. The winter wind has stilled, and the stinging cold in the air is gone. Artemis looks around, but her surroundings are barren, no shining gates of St. Peter in this afterlife. Then two clouds part in front of her, and there he is. Wally, looking just like she remembered.

Artemis doesn't hesitate. She runs into his arms and kisses him. She pulls him closer, tries to bask in his touch, but something about this feels off. It's like she's kissing the air or her own hand. She pulls away, caresses his face, and stares deep into his icy blue eyes. 

Wally's eyes were green.

Artemis jerks backwards, "Wally, is it really you?"

"Of course it's me," Wally says, but what escapes his lips is an unsettling combination of his and Dick's voice. "Who else would it be?" 

The scene around her reforms. Now she's standing in their Palo Alto apartment, except it's not. Dick's couch sits where their couch should. A Flying Graysons poster hangs on the wall where Wally's Albert Einstein calendar used to. Wally's physics notes and Dick's takeout receipts are strewn all over the coffee table in an indecipherable mess.

Artemis' knees give out, and she falls into a heap on the carpet, fighting back tears. 

"Babe, what is it?" It's just Wally's voice now. "What's wrong?"

"I love you, Wally. I love you so, so much."

Wally gently grabs her arms and lifts her off the floor. "Then why don't you look happier to see me?"

"Because you're not going to love me after I tell you what I did."

"That's impossible, Babe. There's nothing you could do that would make me stop loving you. Well, maybe if you robbed a bank, or blew up the planet, or didn't give Brucely his belly rubs every night," Brucely appears and Wally bends down to rub his head. "Isn't that right boy?"

"Wally, take this seriously."

"Okay, but whatever it is, it's not going to change how I feel about you," he takes her hands. "I love you, Artemis, and I always will."

Artemis looks away from his loving gaze. She bites her lip. Is it better to break the news gently or rip the bandage off? She may as well get this over with. 

"I slept with Dick."

She waits for his reaction. Anger, betrayal, something. She's greeted with silence. It takes her a moment to realize, but Wally is frozen in place, like a video put on pause. He stares at her unmovingly and unblinkingly with his warm smile still etched on his face. Then the whole illusion starts to dissolve. The room, Brucely, Wally, they all fade away into the aether. Nothing remains except her and the door. 

Not knowing what else to do, she opens it. Immediately she's hit with the cold. Her friends beckon for her, and she steps back into the real world. The three of them circle around her and wrap her in a warm embrace.

"What happened? Why did it stop?" She asks.

"I forced it to end," M'gann says.

"But how did you-- I thought Zatanna."

"I should explain," Zatanna says, then confesses her and M'gann's plan to fake an illusion of the afterlife. "I'm sorry. I know it was wrong to trick you, but I was worried when you said you'd go to Wotan. I didn't want someone to take advantage of your grief."

She wants to be angry with her-- with all of them. But they didn't trick her out of malice. It's clear in the way they hold her and whisper kind words to her, they had her best interests at heart. 

"You didn't tell me it was with Grayson," Zatanna says. 

She nods, "I know. I'm sorry. It's just-- I couldn't-- I felt so ashamed."

"Oh Honey, you don't have anything to be ashamed about," Raquel says. "I know I rag on him sometimes, but Dick's a good guy, and you're hardly the first person to fall for him."

"Or the second," Zatanna says.

"Or the third," M'gann says, to which Zatanna and Raquel give her a concerned look. "What? I'm talking about Barbara, not me."

"But he was Wally's best friend. Wally wouldn't want--"

Raquel cuts her off, "Artemis, what do  _ you _ want?"

She wants Wally back. She wants to hold him in her arms and pick things up where they left off. Except… that's not quite right. It's what she's supposed to want, but when she thinks about it longer, her answer gets less black and white and more gray. Her worst offense isn't that she slept with Dick, but that she enjoyed it. 

"I don't know." 

"That's alright, you don't have to figure it all out tonight. But just know, you deserve to be happy and loved. Even if you don't feel like it right now, I promise you do," Raquel says. "Now come on, let's get you out of this cold."

\--

Dick's first call as part of his self-improvement plan isn't to Artemis, but to Dinah.

"Do you know any good therapists in Bludhaven?" 

He knows it's all in his head that he isn't "worthy" of Artemis until he gets over his trauma and pulls his life together. Not that he's doing this for Artemis. This is something he wants, and he's willing to put the effort into. He was fooling himself in thinking progress is gradual, linear, and inevitable if he just waits long enough. It takes more than time to heal all wounds, it takes meaningful change too. 

His next call is to a psychologist Dinah recommended, and he sets up his first appointment for next week. Then he talks to Linda in the Gotham University registrar to re-enroll after dropping out last year. Hardest is his call to Mr. and Mrs. West. He worries it will be awkward and that he'll have nothing to say, but they talk for over an hour and make plans to visit each other after the holidays. His last act is with M'gann, where he asks permission to rejoin the Team.

M'gann grins, "Of course. I've told you before the door is always open for you. I'm really glad you're back, and I'm sure Artemis will appreciate having another non-meta on the Team again."

"Thanks," he says. "Is um… she around by chance?"

"Yeah, she's in the kitchen. I'll give you two some space," she casts him a kind smile, then rallies the Team to the living room for a bonding activity.

The new Team headquarters is nice, like a modern, urban version of The Cave. Though, the kitchen walls are made almost entirely of glass. He was hoping to have this conversation somewhere more private, but his new teammates don't appear to be paying them any mind. Artemis sits on a barstool, sipping a mug of tea and reading one of her textbooks. He takes a seat next to her. She doesn't pack up her stuff and move away, which he takes as an encouraging sign. 

"Hey," he says.

"Hi," she says back.

He spent last night pacing back and forth in his bedroom, talking to himself and rehearsing what he wanted to say. He got the middle part down, but he realizes now he never figured out how to start.

"So… um..." 

"We don't have to talk about it, you know," Artemis says.

"No, I think we do," he says. "Look, I've been in denial about a lot of things lately. I know how much it feels like it helps, but it doesn't actually fix anything."

She sighs, "What is there to say about it, Dick? It happened, and I wish it hadn't."

"Yeah, it happened, and we rushed into it without thinking through the consequences. In one night I ruined eight years of friendship, and I really hate myself for that." 

"It wasn't just you. You know what they say, it takes two to tango. We were both dealing with a lot of grief and we picked a really unhealthy way to cope with it."

"A lot of guilt too. Sometimes it's hard for me to separate that you're not Wally's girlfriend anymore. Like, I know in my head it's okay for us to explore our feelings for each other, but it still feels like I'm betraying him somehow."

"I know what you mean." 

"And I think the thing I feel guiltiest about is… I don't completely regret it. I wish we'd been smarter about it, but it wasn't just meaningless sex for me."

Artemis cups her hands around her tea."Yeah, same."

"Anyway, that's all I really had to say. I hope we can still work together because I just asked M'gann to join the Team again."

"Of course. It's good you're back," There's a pause. It seems like there's something more on her mind. "You were wrong by the way."

"About what?"

"When we… were together, you assumed Wally was the only person I've ever… he's been my only relationship, but there was someone before him. A friend from Gotham North. You wouldn't know her."

He shouldn't be so surprised by that. She was 15 when they started dating, it's not unreasonable to think she saw other people before him. But it cuts into the image he has of Artemis and Wally: They're partners, soulmates, one and only true loves. 

"Well, you've met all of my exes. You could probably guess them if you wanted to."

And at that, she smiles, "Maybe I'll take you up on that someday."

\--

This is the first mission in years the five of them have been on together.

The thought wasn't lost on Artemis when they boomtubed to Vandal's coordinates. The last time they were all on a squad was… she honestly can't remember. The team's expanded so much over the years. People came, people left. People came out of retirement after a stint undercover with a new name and new orange and black costume. Specific, and yet she's one of a pair who did exactly that.

This trip down memory lane her brain seems insistent on taking couldn't come at a more inconvenient time. They're in the middle of battle, swarmed on all sides by parademons and Furies. Bright red energy blasts come at her in all directions. Artemis swivels around to shoot a parademon through the eye, but her ponytail whips her in the face.

Artemis didn't tie her hair back. And even if she did, her hair isn't long enough to do that anymore. That hasn't happened since she was in highschool. 

It's her first sign something is off about this fight. She tries to anchor herself in the here and now, but it's as if her brain was split in two. She's fully aware she is Tigress. She's 23 years old, has shoulder-length hair, and costume that covers her midriff. She can feel the weight of her current bow in her hand, but when she looks down her green, fingerless glove clad hand holds a bow that broke seven years ago. 

She looks around, and they've all morphed into their younger selves. M'gann with green skin and a full head of ginger hair. Kaldur, shorter, leaner, and in his red and blue. Even Conner, who hasn't physically aged in his life, looks different in the way he holds himself. 

_ "M'gann, what's going on?"  _

M'gann's talked before about a psychic's "mental touch". It was always an abstract concept to her, but she thinks she understands now. She can't put her finger on why, but whatever mind game is going on right now feels like the illusion under the weeping willow. 

M'gann nods at Dick. His teenage face is flushed pink beneath his old domino mask. They shouldn't have let him come, he's still too feverish and weak. Dick takes cover behind a pile of crates. She's about to run over to help him, but a blur of red and yellow speeds past her and beats her to it.

Of course, their reunion wouldn't be complete without Wally.

It's a funny thing, to see through Dick's eyes the way he mourns him. Artemis yearns for a future that can never come to be. Dick's mind seems to linger on the past and what once was. The Wally fighting by his side still has his freckle-spattered cheeks and boyish enthusiasm. He collects souvenirs, cracks stupid puns, and is always down to clown with his best friend. The two of them used to be quite the pair with their inside jokes and escalating antics. 

When did they all get so old?

M'gann's the one who breaks the news to Dick after they've won the fight. It wasn't Wally by his side, only a memory, a fever dream so strong they all felt it.

"Yeah, uh… sorry."

Dick wipes his brow and the unbridled joy sinks off his face. In this moment of vulnerability, Artemis' heart bleeds for him. Lately they've had an overly formal, working relationship. It's like they've fallen out of rhythm and can't seem to get back into step. Their conversations are fraught with stammering and nervous laughter, and she always finds herself second-guessing what she's going to say. They try to avoid being alone in the same room. But Dick stares at her with his sheepish, hangdog look, and that's all it takes for their awkwardness to dissolve away. 

Artemis throws her arms around him. She doesn't have to second guess this.

"Don't be." 

\--

Artemis' porch light is still on. Dick knocks, remembering how Brucely gets worked up whenever anyone rings the doorbell. He hopes her invitation to drop by whenever still stands. He could come up with an excuse:  _ I wanted to pick Will's brain on… Dinah wanted to talk to me about… There was something Bruce needed me to get at... _

Artemis answers the door.

"Hey. Happy Valentine's Day," he says, and offers up a pink box of donuts.

She grins, "Hey, come in. Try to keep your voice down, I just put Lian to bed. Will's working tonight, by the way," she points at the box. "Are those from Heron Street Bakery?"

"Yeah, I remembered they were your favorite. Unless you've found a place out here you like better."

"No, I don't think there's anywhere in the world with better donuts than Heron Street. Please tell me you got some of the double chocolate ones?"

"Well duh, those are the best kind."

He kicks off his shoes while she digs around the kitchen for plates and napkins. They settle on the couch, keeping a respectable distance. Artemis stuffs a donut into her mouth, then another, inhaling food in a way that would make Wally proud.

"You know Wally forgot Valentine's Day every single year?" she says, her words garbled.

Dick nods. Wally had told him the story, and he had thoroughly roasted him every single year for it.

Artemis swallows. "He'd always surprise me later on though. Sometime in June or November he'd sweep me off my feet with roses or new archery equipment. I think I liked that better."

"You still like the donuts though, right?"

"Yes, the donuts are delicious." She laughs, then takes another bite of her donut. A blob of chocolate icing gets stuck on the tip of her nose.

"What?" Artemis says as he laughs.

"You got a little--" he points at his nose. Artemis wipes at it with the back of her hand, but it only spreads down her cheek. Dick reaches out to help her, but hesitates. Isn't this how they ended up sleeping together last time? A gentle touch under the guise of being helpful. Artemis seems to sense the shift in mood. After wiping her face with a napkin, she sets her donut down on the table.

"Hey Dick?"

"Yeah?"

"What do you think Wally would say if he knew about us?"

Dick wants to think he'd be happy. He's never considered himself a very religious person, but there's something comforting in Wally smiling down from Heaven as the two people he loved most in life fall in love with each other. It sure beats the alternative of him shaking his fist in betrayal. He doesn't think Artemis wants a sugar-coated answer though. She's looking for honesty. 

"I don't know. There's no way we can ever know for sure. I think if we spend our whole lives wondering what Wally would think, it's only going to make us unhappy."

"You're right. I know you're right. And I know ultimately it doesn't matter what he thinks because he's gone. But it sucks. It really, really sucks that we'll never be able to get proper closure."

"I know," he wishes he had more comforting words to offer her. And he hopes he's not overstepping, but he puts a gentle arm around her shoulder. Artemis in turn wraps her arms around his middle.

"I'm sorry," she says. "I know you didn't come over here to listen to me get emotional about my dead boyfriend."

"Don't apologize. We should be able to talk about him without it being weird."

"I think we kinda shot ourselves in the foot there."

"Just a bit," he says, and they both laugh.

"So… should I interpret the Valentine's day donuts as a friendly gesture or..?"

"I wanted to talk to you about that, actually," he says. "I'm just gonna put it all out there: I think you're amazing, Artemis, and I'd like to give this another shot. But I don't want to pressure you or anything, and if you just want to be friends I will absolutely respect your decision."

"I've been thinking about it a lot too," she says. She lets go of him and shifts so she can look him in the eye. "I don't think I'm ready for a serious relationship yet. I don't know when I will be. But... I like you, and I'd like to see where this goes. So if you're okay with taking things slow…" 

"Yeah, of course."

"Then I'd like to give this another shot too."

\--

There's three leftover donuts the next morning. Artemis grabs one and leaves the others for Lian and Will. She puts on a mug of coffee and scrolls through her facebook friends until she finds the person she's looking for. 

It's been a while since she's thought about Cora Sanchez, her best friend at Gotham North before their friendship got complicated. They'd kept their feelings under wraps until the end of freshman year, when studying for their algebra final turned into making out on Cora's bed. It was a scorching hot summer, in more ways than one. Until Cora wanted to go back to being friends. She didn't like her like that, she was straight and confused. Artemis got angry, threw her things around her bedroom. Cried and cried and cried.

Then two weeks later she got absolutely smitten by a tall, muscular boy in a Superman t shirt. Conner Kent, her white rabbit. Oh Lord, she forgets sometimes how infatuated she used to be with him. She can laugh about it now, but the night she found out her feelings weren't reciprocated, she went on a rage-fueled vigilante justice spree through downtown Manhattan. 

Then two months later she was in the arms of Wally West, kissing him as the clock struck midnight and the year began anew.

In a way, Wally's not so different from Cora and Conner. She loved him deeper and longer, but though it wasn't his intention, he still left her heartbroken. But hearts aren't fragile pieces of glass that once shattered can't be put back together without cracks and missing pieces. Her heart is a phoenix rising from the ashes, not stronger or weaker for it, but new. She's loved, she's lost, and she's bounced back. 

Cora's older in her profile picture, but still recognizable. In her about section it lists she attended Gotham City Community College. She works as a nurse at Thomas Wayne Memorial Hospital. She's in a relationship with Rebecca Simone. 

"Aunty Mouse!" Lian squeals. Artemis sets down her phone to scoop her up and plant a kiss on her cheek.

"Morning Princess! Here, I've got a special treat for you." She hands Lian a strawberry sprinkled donut. Lian grins and takes a big bite, getting pink icing all over her face. 

"So um… I'm guessing the donuts are from Dick?" Will asks. He pours a cup of coffee and joins them at the table. "I kinda ran into him this morning when I got home from work. I hope it wasn't supposed to be a secret or anything."

Artemis laughs. He makes it sound so dirty, when the majority of the night was spent finishing their  _ Celebrity Hockey  _ marathon. They hadn't done anything beyond one kiss on the cheek. He offered to sleep on the couch. But she told him that much chasteness wasn't necessary, and she brought him to her bedroom where they slept together in the literal sense.

"Dick and I are both masters of stealth. If we wanted to keep it secret, you wouldn't be talking about it right now. But if it's an issue with--" she gestures at Lian, who's watching them both with intense curiosity, "we can go to his place next time."

"You're allowed to have guests over. This is as much your house as it is mine. I just didn't realize you two were together. Should I um… expect to see him around more?"

She smiles, "Yeah, I think so."

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Me, rubbing my greasy bi hands all over Dick and Artemis: my city now
> 
> Also let's pretend M'gann didn't have a copy of that picture of Dick and Artemis in her scrapbook (it was probably just recycled anyway so...)
> 
> Kudos and comments are always appreciated :) Also! say hi to me [on tumblr!](http://perichat.tumblr.com)


End file.
